i can not imagine my sky
a million shades of neon pink and orange
in rising sun.
when it does not shatter in my face.
like the pinata i tried so hard to break, blindfolded.
At a mexican kid’s house on holidays so long
so long ago that i did not know he was mexican.
i wanted to peek…but I soon learned that the blindfold
serves to shield the destruction before the
storm of color, candy, and jubilation.
but so heartbreaking – so beautiful with colors
swirling, dancing, burning, loving, hating the glare in my eyes
now the blindfold , it has slipped down
it is just a gag around my mouth –
holding back the words…shielding the destruction.
loving memories of candy i see…but not so much as
loving the one who holds the pinata
filled only with memories and colors and conversation.
lost in pieces of brilliant gleaming soul – once a beautiful pinata
…raining colors of candy after and during storms.
you recede into me deeper…i remember your skin like yesterday.
but this is not my skin i’m in…7years.
instead, i watch the sun – it shatters, shards of colors.
colors that i can see now – but never can i speak them.
there is the old blindfold, dropped around my mouth.
my sun, my sex, my love…
it shatters, millions of times over into universes left to
be explored but too terrifying to leave here… and too terrifying to
stay…and bound by all these blindfolds.